I miss my 12 year old.
He lives with us. He sleeps in his bed and wears his clothes...yet...he is not the same boy.
He is in grade seven you know. He has a girlfriend now.
It doesn't just happen to girls...boys have the 'change' too when they are turning teenager. It was swift, instant and irreversible.
I mourn.
He used to care what we thought. He used to trust us and ask for our opinion. He used to atleast show that some of what we said was sinking in.
His brain no longer computes. Saying things once, twice, three times doesn't register any more. Everything that happens between him and his siblings is 'their' fault and are viewed as GRAND injustices to the mankind (which is defined as HIM alone). These same injustices are 'no big deal' if inflicted by him onto them though...to be clear...and are instantly dismissed by him.
Meditation is futile and is viewed as either a complete violation to his 'freedom' and 'privacy' OR the other extreme where he is made painfully aware of his shortcomings and so in turn wants to 'kill himself' because we would be 'better off without him'.
Oh MY! How much do I give credit to that drama?
I love him. To bits. I cannot imagine ever living without him in my life. He KNOWS this.
But I wish he would come back...and be my boy again. Without all the extreme drama.
Some days. I know this is part of this season of his life but...some days...
10 comments:
Oh, Evi! I so feel your pain! It's truly awful, isn't it?
Oh my word. I am dreading those times! And they are fast approaching as my baby boy turns 11 in January.
*weeps*
*HUGS*
That is heartbreaking, isn't it? My Mom went through that with my 3 younger brothers. {{hugs}}
oh boy. that's a pleasant stage to go through from both ends of the spectrum. aye!!
((((((((((((((Evi))))))))))))))))!
He is precious! I wish I knew what Karin's comment means!
I am sighing...Sighing that I am just not looking forward to that time in my kids' lives...in my life...when I will be going through THE CHANGE.
Just keep praying Evi...I know you are great Mom...just give him space but let him know you love him.
My comment is not just one hug, but lots of hugs surrounding Evi, the parenthesis being my arms. We use that in chat all the time.
I am so dreading those day. My boy is 7 and I know the drama is shortly down the road. Love your blog and look forward to reading more!!
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